6.25.2008

something akin to drowning...

i am the one i want to be. i dont want to be alone and so i try too hard to be me. i vie for the praise and the accolades of those far below in hopes of finding a proper reflection there of who i want to be, never revealing how much of the big picture i am really missing. it is but a fraction, a broken mirror image that im comparing myself to, molding myself to be like. a grotesque version of the beautiful entirety. why do i insist on selling myself short?

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Man, how things change.- Mark Kozelek



looking back over even the last six months is difficult. how could i possible explore the heights and depths of where i've been? i've been through fire, fell through my glass ceiling of expectations, and drowned in the vast sea of regrets and cliches.