12.15.2010

.thedesignerpad.

I found this on 'thedesignerpad' (my new obsession) and had to share! how delightful are these pictures?!
We've always known Parisian women to be icons of elegance and sophistication. But haven't you often wondered how this fabulousness influences the way they live? French photographer Baudouin uncovered this myth for us. Through his unique essay “Les Parisiennes,” he captured a variety of Parisian ladies, from unknown backgrounds, in their homes going about their lives. He gives us a more realistic and contemporary view of Paris and its people — in this case les femmes. “I have made it a point that all photographed women had been born, raised and educated within the city of Paris. Those are the ones who naturally carry the Parisian culture without the desire to become Parisians.” For me, these images are a real treat since I've always been a big admirer of the City of Lights. They have given me a much desired peek inside Parisian homes, and allowed me to see how their decor is an extension of their personalities and how varied their styles are. C'est magnifique!

12.09.2010

i've spent most of my life focused on everyone i'm not. it's so far past time to figure out who i am.

i know that things that move me, that affect me, that cause me to take a moment and simply exist. i just need them to all connect to make a collective, cohesive whole.

lets see how this goes...

11.11.2010

.xxx.


Federal crackdown on child prostitution results in 884 arrests

By Michael Martinez, CNN
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
  • Authorities say they recovered 69 children from prostitution
  • Seattle has 16 kids recovered from prostitution, the most of 40 cities
  • The crackdown is part of the ongoing Innocence Lost National Initiative
(CNN) -- A three-day federal crackdown on child prostitution rings across the country has resulted in the recovery of 69 children and the arrest of 884 people, including 99 pimps, federal authorities said Monday.
Meanwhile, in Tennessee, authorities announced Monday they were arresting 29 individuals involved in gangs that trafficked underage Somali and African-America girls in a prostitution ring. The 29 people were connected to the Somali Outlaws, the Somali Mafia and the Lady Outlaws, officials said.
The three-day federal sweep, called Operation Cross Country V, involved 40 cities nationwide and is part of the Innocence Lost National Initiative, authorities said.
"Child prostitution continues to be a significant problem in our country, as evidenced by the number of children rescued through the continued efforts of our crimes against children task forces," said Shawn Henry, executive assistant director of the FBI's Criminal, Cyber, Response and Service Branch, in a written statement. "There is no work more important than protecting America's children and freeing them from the cycle of victimization. Through our strategic partnerships with state and local law enforcement agencies, we are able to make a difference."
The city where the most children were recovered was Seattle, Washington, with 16, said FBI Special Agent Jason Pack. Seven pimps were arrested there, he added.
Following Seattle were Tacoma, Washington, and Sacramento, California, each with seven child prostitutes retrieved by authorities, Pack said. Two pimps were arrested in Tacoma and three in Sacramento, he said.
The city with the largest number of pimps arrested was Detroit, with 10, Pack said.
To combat growing child prostitution, federal agencies formed the Innocence Lost National Initiative in June 2003 to address enterprises involved in the domestic sex trafficking of children. Those agencies were the FBI's Criminal Investigative Division, the Department of Justice's Child Exploitation-Obscenity Section and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
There are now 39 Innocence Lost task forces and working groups throughout the country.
So far, those units have recovered 1,250 children, and the initiative has resulted in 438 indictments, 625 convictions, 153 criminal enterprises disrupted and 58 successfully dismantled, authorities said. Convictions have resulted in sentences ranging up to 25-years-to-life and in the seizure of more than $3 million in assets, authorities said.
The most recent sweep, over a 72-hour period ending Sunday night, was the fifth such law enforcement operation, said Pack.
"Once again, Operation Cross Country has awakened the nation to the fact that today American children are being marketed and sold for sex in American cities," said Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, in a written statement. "These kids are victims. This is 21st century slavery. We are proud to be a part of this extraordinary partnership to rescue children, save lives and bring the pimps and operators to justice."
The FBI says that at least 25 percent of adult prostitutes were enticed into the illegal activity as juveniles.
In Tennessee, federal authorities said the gangs transported the minor girls from Minneapolis, Minnesota, which has a large Somali immigrant community, to Nashville, Tennessee, for prostitution over a 10-year period. Some of the girls were 13 years old or younger.
"I would call this one of the more significant cases that we investigated," said John Morton, director of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency.


people are always shocked to find out that sex traffiking and child prostitution happen right here in the States. it seems the things of movies, Liam Neeson acting out the part of vigilante father, or the by-product of a third-world government -think cambodia or amsterdam. it's easy to forget that this is not a new problem. we are a nation constructed solely on the exploitation of others. people have been our footstools since this great nation was founded. legalized slavery may have ended but slavery itself never stopped. it's merely changed faces. our country, and countless others, continues to be built on the backs of the vulnerable and the voiceless. sometimes, there are no fathers with spy backgrounds desperately seeking to save his daughter. these are kids  with no past, no background, only sometimes no family, and most importantly, no protection. i applaud what has been accomplished here, however this is but a small victory in the war, a war that is far from over, a war for innocence and that stretches across the nations.  

11.06.2010

Deborah, Duchess of Devonshire


The British Author - Nancy Mitford (Mrs Peter Rodd) (1904–73)

The Farmer - Pamela Mitford (Mrs Derek Jackson) (1907–94)

The Gay Soldier - Major Thomas Mitford (1909–45) (killed in action)

The Fascist - Diana Mitford ( Lady Mosley) (1910–2003)

The Nazi - Unity Vallkyrie Mitford (1914–48)

The American Author - Jessica Mitford (Mrs Robert Treuhaft) (1917–1996)

The Duchess - Deborah Mitford (now the Dowager Duchess of Devonshire) (born 1920)



.Mitford Sisters.


I currently find myself absolutely fascinated by the Mitford family. From most of my reseach, I'm well behind the curve, but the entire family has individually, and collectively, caught my attention. I originally stumbled across the following article in the NYT and the rest is history...

Andrew & Debo Cavendish





.debo.




By SARAH LYALL
Originally Published: November 5, 2010

EDENSOR, England

YEARS after the fact, Deborah, the Dowager Duchess of Devonshire, looked in her mother’s engagement book to see what had been written on the momentous day of March 31, 1920.

Nothing.

“She didn’t refer to my birth at all,” the duchess said. “There was nothing for five days, and then, on the fifth day, in capital letters, it said ‘KITCHEN CHIMNEY SWEPT.’ ”

“No one took any notice of me except Nanny.”

Maybe so, but not for long. Now 90, the duchess is doubly famous. First, as the lone survivor of the six celebrated Mitford girls, who included Nancy (the renowned comic novelist), Diana (the renowned beauty and wife of the fascist leader Sir Oswald Mosley) and Jessica (the renowned Communist, author and naturalized American). Second, as the woman who transformed Chatsworth, one of the grandest of England’s grand houses, from a museumlike relic into a family house and self-sustaining business that is visited by 600,000 people a year. Along the way, Deborah Cavendish, to use her civilian name (her friends call her Debo), has become something of a national treasure, as grand as the queen but as approachable as anyone, effortlessly bridging the gap between Us and Them in this perennially class-conscious society.

“It is so kind of you to come all this way,” the duchess said recently, greeting visitors in her driveway. Straight-backed and chic in a deceptively simple green wool skirt and black pumps, she proceeded to shake hands with everyone, including the taxi driver.

She led the way into the drawing room of her house, the former vicarage in this hamlet (pronounced Enzer), part of the 35,000-acre Chatsworth estate. Books were everywhere. Birthday cards filled an entire wall of one room, many reflecting two of her pet passions: chickens (she raises them) and Elvis (she worships him).

Chatsworth loomed outside in the background, grand and imposing with its 297 rooms, its 1.3 acres of roof and its 18 staircases. The duchess had to move out several years ago, after the death of her husband, Andrew, the 11th Duke of Devonshire, and the accession of her son, the 12th. “It was rather a relief because the passages were so long,” she said.

She has written a dozen books, most recently the memoir “Wait For Me!” (Farrar, Straus and Giroux), which coincides with a Deborah-themed exhibit at Chatsworth. Items include the diary in which she recorded dancing with a young John F. Kennedy (“rather boring but nice”); great swathes of couture clothes and eye-blinding jewels; photographs of her by Cecil Beaton, Norman Parkinson and Henri Cartier-Bresson; and a portrait by Lucian Freud.

Like all of Freud’s work, the painting was not created to flatter. When her husband first went to see it, there were several other men in the room, the duchess relates in her book. After a while, one said, “Who is that woman?”

“It’s my wife,” Andrew answered.

“Well, thank God it’s not mine,” the man replied.

THE duchess grew up in happy eccentricity in rural Gloucestershire. Her father, the second Baron Redesdale (famous in Nancy Mitford’s fiction as the fearsome Uncle Matthew), had an erratic relationship with finance and a “horror of anything sticky”; hunted his own children with bloodhounds; referred to foreigners and his daughter’s beaux as “sewers”; and hated socializing. (Once, when confronted with a group of Nancy’s guests at lunch, he loudly asked from the far end of the table, “Have these people no home of their own?”)

“I had a marvelous time,” the duchess said. Even when, in a scene in her book, her siblings surrounded her and chanted “Who’s the least important person in the room? You!”?

“It’s hard for people to understand, that these things were all turned into jokes in our family,” she said. Sounding genuinely perplexed, she added: “There is this extraordinary thing called self-esteem which is pumped into the children now.”

She was famously lovely; her husband was famously dashing. He inherited the dukedom only because his older brother, Billy, was killed in World War II. It was a time of constant loss. “Two of my brothers-in-law,” she said. “My only brother; Andrew’s only brother; my four best friends — all killed within a month of each other.”

But her generation believes in self-pity about as much as it believes in self-esteem. “What can you do?” she asked. “Blow after blow came, but there was absolutely no reply, was there?”

AFTER the death of Andrew’s father, in 1959, the tax amounted to 80 percent of the value of the estate — estimated to be about $285 million in today’s money. Nine works of art, including a Holbein, a Rubens and a Rembrandt, went to museums, as did a Van Dyck sketchbook (luckily, someone later “found another in the back of a cupboard,” the duchess writes). The debt was finally settled in 1974.

Raising the money, and making Chatsworth sustainable, required a top-to-bottom reorganization, presided over by the duchess. She put in central heating and plumbing for 17 new bathrooms. She opened an educational farm that is visited by about 200,000 children a year. She opened a farm shop, one of the first of its kind in the country, selling produce and meat from the Chatsworth farm, and later expanding into a restaurant. She opened another shop selling Chatsworth souvenirs.

Her memoir is full of encounters with famous people, including President Kennedy, whose sister Kathleen had been married to Andrew’s older brother before his death in the war (she died several years later in a plane crash). Kennedy, who became a close friend, coincidentally occupied the White House when Andrew’s uncle, Harold Macmillan, was Britain’s prime minister.

Soon, the duchess said, President Kennedy acquired her habit of referring to Macmillan as “Uncle Harold,” and, in calls to Downing Street, liked to follow references to NATO and Seato by inquiring, “How’s Debo?”

Her marriage lasted 62 years, surviving Andrew’s long bout with alcoholism, as well as his discreet dalliances.

“It was absolutely fixed that we shouldn’t divorce or get rid of each other in any way,” the duchess said. “It’s completely different to Americans, who all divorce each other the whole time. Such a bore for everyone, having to say who’s going to have the dogs, who’s going to have the photograph books.”

Andrew was great company, she said, which went a long way, and he shared his wife’s facility for drawing humor from challenging situations. Being married to a Mitford, he once said, “inevitably imposes a certain Denis Thatcher element in my life.”

THE duchess has always been a great letter writer; volumes of her correspondence with her sisters and with the writer Patrick Leigh Fermor have recently been published. Now, she is besieged by letters from members of the public. She always answers.

She picked up a thick stack of mail.

“It’s because they know where I live,” she said. “That’s the trouble.”

Inevitably, she has slowed down. Her brilliant blue eyes are slightly dimmer now, and she suffers from macular degeneration, which allows her to write but not read. By way of illustration, she pointed to the photographer. “I can’t see his features,” she said, “He’s just a very amiable sponge.”

She paused. “Haven’t we had enough?” she said, making it somehow sound gracious.

As it happened, the same taxi driver arrived to take the visitors away and was treated to a second sight of the duchess, this time waving goodbye.

“That were the duchess, weren’t it?” he asked, recalling the thrill he got years ago when, taking his family on an outing to the Chatsworth farm, he spotted her feeding her chickens. “We all love her to bits.”



11.04.2010

.update.

                                                  


       .check back soon.





7.24.2009

things, they are a'changin'

i want to take this blog in a slightly different direction. im stating this blatently so as to hold myself accountable. i want to incorporate more of my entirety into this instead of simply venting when my insides can no longer hold their flaming contents.



so we'll see how this goes!



im currently reading:






the road - very intense. im only able to read a few pages at a time due to the overwhelming emotional heaviness that pervades it. excellently written.







anna karenina - delightful read. exceptionally long, but this new translation makes it easily digestable, far more then previous translations have. i may actually finish it this time!





both of these books are absolutely fantastic reads! and satisfying my needs for a more fulfilling read.




recently i've seen:






away we go - not quite the humour i was expecting but excellently delivered nonetheless







amelie - i have no idea how its taken me this long to see amelie, but thankfully this has been rectified. this is an absolute gem of a movie and makes everything seem better after watching it.



cheri - this is absolutely decadent. the acting is horribly delivered, but the set and costumes are absolutely stunning. based on the book by the french feminist colette

recently discovered poetry:

the thing I came for:

the wreck and not the story of the wreck

the thing itself and not the myth

the drowned face always staring

toward the sun

the evidence of damage

worn by salt and sway into this threadbare beauty

the ribs of the disaster

curving their assertion

among the tentative haunters.

- adrienne rich

6.25.2009

perhaps i shall indeed perish from the longing

so much to say. so much to write. so much more to not say.
life is a confounded thing.
my head is full of nouns and verbs and adjectives used in an attempt to make sense of the pictures or feelings or intangibles floating around. how do you do justice to sitting on the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette, watching life go on around you while feeling nothing but dead? how can one possibly express the empty ache for a misplaced closeness or the utter satisfaction of knowing a smile? can language ever truly accomplish the arduous task of longing for the things that can never be again?
while i resoundingly think not, i do try.
oh how my contradictions go.
earlier this week i believed myself to be losing my mind. i've lost my heart. isnt it the next logical thing to go?
i do so love a good zombie flick. but not when im the main character. i go through my days as a poser, checking off my to-do list. laundry - check. dishes - check. smile - check. breathe- check. my tick marks act as a calendar of sorts for how long ive been here but moreso what ive accomplished. it feels like so much more when even the little things are difficult.
my world is spinning and im getting sick.
nostalgia haunts my days, while living (or the lack thereof) haunts my nights and im caught in this weird paradigm of what could be.
always so full of promise and gusto. but to what?
have i made you proud? you who always knew better, always knew more, always knew... knew what? your condemnations and expectations have only served as markers for where i havent been.
i want to remember that this is what i want. this is what ive chosen. may i be happy please?
perhaps it is not meant for me. perhaps longing is truly to be my only constant bedfellow. and the others are merely affairs.
i was meant for more and greatness. or at least something a little less anorexic then this last month has been.
viva l'indépendance!
continuez votre règne, oh mon coeur indompté

4.28.2009

i'm still in this in-between valley of sorts. mountains raise up, tall and high, in either side, both beckoning me to their peaks. i know not the name of either, or what lays in waiting, but i am jointly lured and thus remain in my valley. so many things have changed and the scenery is so different. when the rocks gave way, so did my foundations. or so it would seem. i was climbing the mountain of 'life together' - marriage and children and white picket fences. but i lost my footing and had nothing to hold onto. so i fell to the bottom. and until right now, i've been just sitting here, stunned and confused, unsure of how to proceed. do i even want to climb again? i've since become bored. and restless. so i've decided to try it again. a little bit at a time. and certainly a different mountain. but i need to climb. to feel the blood in my veins, to break the earth in my hands, to taste the sweat. i must press on. being broken and bloodied does not discredit me from the summit. it only compels me to push harder, to press on through the pain. to know that the view from the summit will be worth the climb. i want to feel alive. 

3.26.2009

-veracity-

i can see her face sometimes.
when i'm quiet and still
she revisits me.
every so often, i am unable to look away 
and we take a trip to places i hate.

his arms are wrapped around me,
close enough to whisper his perfectly placed words, 
dripping of truth and lies, 
i can taste our passion and my stomach lurches.
i encounter the rush of being discovered.
how could something so sweet kill so instantaneously?   
and so it began.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
his arms held me close while his soul clenched mine tighter.
our sweet kisses soon left me desperate for air. 
all of our longings for one another left me longing for anything other.
and thus began my demise.
every so often, when i am quiet and unawares,
she creeps in softly and i see her sweet face
still so naive, so trusting, even after all this time.
and i am no longer able to forget that which should not be remembered.
she guides the way to the places i hate, to the places where death is stored.
the screams mistaken for music puncture my ears,
the throbbing bass pulses as my own heartbeat,
she sways and turns as if this moment is it.
the house lights a mere backdrop to the true art unfolding. 
that of predator and prey.
a quick word, a genuine smile, the rush of being discovered, and...
it is finished.
 just like that. 
without a moment's hesitation, her fate is sealed.
unabashedly, she takes the hand that will ultimately deal the final deathblow.
and thus it began.
first the truth, then the lies, then the lies that resembled truth.
late nights, midnight drives
hidden, undiscovered, surreal.
with the ease of one well versed in the tongues of liars, 
he created for her an altar and begged her for his salvation.
she acquiesced most earnestly and thus sentanced to die for his transgressions.
inscense {laden} of the sweetest words burned religiously
to cover the stench of his rotting intentions. 
his utopian lips, dripping of milk and laced-honey, 
spread their venom with every quixotic encounter
tangling their tendrils in her brain, 
benumbing her judgement and weakening her spine. 
 
and when the time for repentance came, 
he laid her on her alter and sacrificed her there.   

  

9.02.2008

i may be losing my mind; i've certainly lost my heart

and again, i write from an untouched well that fills and spills and cascades out of my insides onto my typepad. it is so refershing to feel the release. to feel the emotions beating in time with my pulse again. i am overwhelmed and thus i must write quickly for fear i'll miss something. something imperitive may slip through my fingers and i'd never even know.

so much has happened in the last year. i've been fortified but its left me so fragile in the same breath. my resiliance has been tested and proved true many times over, but im afraid of losing it. one more thing may be the feather to topple my castle made of cards. i've tried so diligently, put so much time and effort into fortifying the walls and roof but i've only just remembered that its still merely playing cards. i've been trying to keep myslef distracted, in hopes of keeping my feelings at bay. i feel so deeply, so acutely, that it terrifies me to think of having to address them. i have such a sensitive spirit, and have experienced so much great hurt in such a small time, that once i get through the intial shock of pain, i look past it, trying desperately to move through it. its like being punched on a bruise, just trying to breathe through the pain without checking to see if there was any other damage. i have to take the extras in stride, step up and look at myself in truth's bright light. i hide so much. i've hidden most of it so deeply that even i have to search to find it. but i'm ready to stand face to face with myself, take off my make-up and facade, look at myself for real. its so far overdue. take stock of how well i've actually fared through this all... patch up the holes, clean out the closets, slap on some fresh paint.
and so i go on sabbatical, with high high hopes of coming back whole...