i have a weakness. i need to be needed. it gives me security because it helps me see my parameters in any given relationship. i need to help. it strokes my ego to know that another person relies on my involvement in their life. it is where my sense of self worth comes from. or at least where i'm able to gather my sense of importance.
i find myself in a very precarious situation these days because i am not needed. my people have other people now. and it is such a good thing. but i find myself feeling very out of place in the relationship because i am unsure of my place. and i find myself questioning what i have to offer anyone. self-depreciation is far too quickly my fall back.
in any given relationship i am simply the other half. that is the only position i should have to take. when i put myself as the 'fixer' i am taking something beautiful away from someone else. no one is satisfied by one single other person. so it stands to reason that i cannot be all things to all people. i'm finding that i am able to redefine the relationship as it should be... simply, two people enjoying one another's company. no more, no less. its a very freeing experience. as it is with all chains recently broken, the wide openess of possibility can be very daunting but once aquainted, it is impossible to return.