admist this disaster, i find hope.
admist this tragedy, i find strength.
you broke me.
but i have never been stronger.
you destroyed me.
but i've never been more alive.
i am a better person.
but no thanks to you.
because i am the creator and the creation
and you were merely an imperfection in the clay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
in losing what i believed to be my everything, i have finally found what is me. i have passion and drive and fire in my eyes. i am finally living life as i've always meant to. my words have stopped and actions have taken their place. i was not meant to be unhappy. how blissfully unaware i was. i didnt even realize i was unhappy until i tasted true happiness. i am fulfilled. i am content. i'm excited to see where life is going. i'm not manic. i'm not psychotic. being with you made me that way. its not me. and it took being broken from you to make me see how much i was missing. so thank you for being devoid of emotion. thank you for cutting me deeper then anyone because it set free a beauty i didnt know i contained. i am free and enabled and empowered to go confidently in the directions of my dreams because i have no dead weight clouding my eyes.
2 comments:
I know all about the longing to find that person that completely "gets" you. It's like that person who loves you for who you are completely, not because they are your family or anything like that. They love you unconditially no strings attached. You want to show them the entire package. Sometimes that leads to making poor choices. im not saying this is your case at all. sometimes when you are willing to give everything the mystery becomes a distortion. but we as humans justify, and rationalize everything because as humans we want to be loved. God gave us that gift and sometimes it is the most painful gift we can receive. I believe God gave it to us to be able to draw near to him. Sometimes we in our own nature have to have something we can feel and touch, but its really the basics of faith. sometimes people will tell you well my situation doesnt apply to this... I think like sin, God sees everything on an equal playing field not one sin is worse than the other sin, we love to justify that. but i think the same is for times of distress and tormoil. Maybe God want's to use that experience to help someone else out. sometimes this pain can last for months and years and you get friends telling you that " i think its been long enough just forget about them, they moved on why can't you? I do feel that if you heartache or whatever is preventing you from doing what God wants you to do then it's not healthy and God will not be blessed. so wake up each day with a smile on your face, a cup of coffee in hand and say "today is going to be a great day!!"
"if its not to late for coffee ill be at your place in ten"
beautiful Liz. I always love to find people passionate about writing and life. I totally relate to this.
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